Esquire's Charlie Pierce uncovers the story of another right-wing whackadoodle running for Congress down in -- where else? -- Florida -- and this one is really a fucking doozy:
I'm probably not being torpored when I say that this doesn't sound like something that a family-values conservative should be spraying around the Internet. But, to me, the really hilarious part about brother Rush here is that he is attempting to run to the right of incumbent Ted Yoho, the Florida tea-party goober with a name like a chocolate snack food, and Yoho's a real prize his own self. In that case, I'm thinking, having the extra personality or three might be the only way to get a fair fight.
Chazz, wrote in one Yahoo message board, titled "The Fallen," dated Feb. 12, 2010: At first I thought you were just stupid and I wanted to stick my dick in your mouth to shut you up while I snorted a line off my new machete that was blessed by Rui (sic) but then I remembered that you were typing so my dick would really have to be in your hands to keep you from typing but since you are walking in Omaha that's not really realistic right now. I'm sorry, I tried. Rae tells me that you are a Maiden, and it's your job to be kind of stupid and that I'm not supposed to have intercourse with Maidens. You shouldn't believe everything that people tell you or you're going to end up naked and sore, tied to the floor of a van marked "Free Candy." And stop letting people torpor (sic) you. -Chazz Darling, Power of Discord, Important member of the LS.http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/jake-rush-florida-040414
Holy Dungeons and Dragons Batman!
So basically - here we have this guy named Jake Rush, who is running for Republican Ted Yoho's congressional seat in Florida. Rush is presenting himself to his would-be district constituents as a Bible embracing, family values, constitution loving former Sheriff's Deputy, who is going to be more conservative than the Tea Partier Yoho, and for all intents and purposes, the savior of the people of Florida.
What Jake Rush wasn't sharing with his would-be constituents was the fact he has been leading a secondary life and lifestyle as an underground role-playing (RPG) demigod named "Chazz Darling" - and ol' Chazz seems to have a hankering for not only cocaine-fueled, sexually explicit online banter with his fellow role-players, but also an affinity for satanic ritualism, vampires and succubi, book burning, sadomasochism and of course - the perennially favorite obsession with wingnuts - rape.
Now - before the RPG fanatics get their spiked, leather undies knotted in a bunch by wondering what kind of unfair bias The Gadfly has against role-playing games and the people who partake in them, and why should it be anyone's business at all -- well -- The Gadfly will tell you -- he has none. None whatsoever.
However when someone like Jake Rush, who aspires to higher political power, and campaigns on promises that if elected he will legislate laws which impose his and his supporters religious and ideological views on The Gadfly and other Americans who don't have the same world view as he does -- then The Gadfly has a major league fucking problem with that. And as such, this guy's fantasy world alter-ego and every shred of his activities and involvement in his "hobby" is publicly fair game, and the people whom he is wanting to represent in the halls of government have every damn right to know about all of it.
Setting all of that aside though -- honestly -- what on earth is going on within the conservative movement these days? What form of mass psychosis has invaded the social hive that these people have barricaded themselves in and afflicted their higher thinking capabilities? And once again - The Gadfly will ask the obvious question - why do Americans keep electing these deranged clowns to public office? The Gadfly is having a real, real hard time wrapping his brain around what is happening to this country. It's like a surreal, Kafkaesque nightmare that apparently has no foreseeable end to it, and it is leaving The Gadfly with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
When will their lunacy end? Or perhaps the more frightening question is -- how will it end?
----TFG
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