Friday, June 28, 2013

WHOMP! There it is! . . . . SMACKdown! . . . . WHOMP! There it is! . . .

The Gadfly is swooning . . . . a new heroine is among us . . . .

Apparently there was a hearing on Capitol Hill yesterday, which typically does not induce anything but a yawn attack in The Gadfly, but oh dear reader -- this was a very, very special hearing.

Apparently the hearing was a typically routine, mundane government oversight hearing dealing with the captivating subject of the IRS and government contracts.

Routine and mundane that is, until The Gadfly's new heroine, Illinois Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth showed up for the festivities.

Tammy Duckworth, if you are not in the know, is a Democratic Congresswoman and former Iraq war veteran, who while piloting a Blackhawk helicopter during a combat mission in Iraq, was hit with a rocket-propelled grenade by Iraqi insurgents.  The explosion blew off both of her legs and most of her right arm.  She spent months recuperating from her devastating injuries, came back home to Illinois, saw that some guy named Joe Walsh (not from The Eagles), a Teabagging asshole loser, had become her Congressman, and decided to challenge him for his seat.  She won.

But the Gadfly digresses -- back to the mundane hearing.

Apparently this particular oversight hearing was investigating how it came to be that a fine, upstanding American CEO, by the name of Braulio Castillo, had secured a $500 million dollar IT contract with the IRS based on his status as a "service-disabled veteran-owned business" man.

Something was wrong with the picture though.  It seems Mr. Castillo came by his military disability in quite a unique manner -- he had suffered a foot injury playing football at a military prep-school many years ago.  Yup - that's it folks.  The poor fellow twisted his ankle playing football at WhinyRichLittleShit Military Academy.  Funny thing though -- this grievous injury apparently wasn't grievous enough to prevent Castillo from going on to play football in college, nor did it interfere with his then Republican Congressman nominating him for admission to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.

So -- basically this guy had used this military prep school twisted ankle tragedy and some inappropriate lobbying of an IRS contact to get his very own, sweet little $500 mil. public money teat to suckle at.  Unfortunately for him, and a godsend to The Gadfly, Major Tammy Duckworth got wind of it.  And the rest is history.

Watch, and more importanly - learn, how someone who does not suffer fools nor frauds lightly deals with such a situation:

Oooch!  Owwch!!  Yeeoww!!!  Arrgggggggh!!!!

Those are the yelps of excruciating pain (not the twisted ankle kind of pain - The Gadfly assures you) emanating from CEO Braulio Castillo's crooked mouth as Tammy Duckworth yanks the barbed, red hot poker out of his scaly rectum after she personally rammed it up there and twisted it around a few dozen times herself.

There aren't many things that The Gadfly sees these days that brings tears of joy to his weathered and cynical old eyes -- but baby, oh baby -- this was one such viewing.

Now if we can only tap some of Major Duckworth's DNA and inject it in to Obama's spine, maybe there is still a chance that this country can turn things around.


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