Saturday, April 14, 2018

Life During MAGA Wartime . . .




Re: Donald Trump's decision to bomb Syria.

Here's how The Gadfly envisions it went down:

Trump (in oval office, on the phone):  Vlad!  Uncle Vlad!  Can you hear me now?  Oh good.  Say Uncle, I'm up to my horse-hair toupee in sex and criminal scandals over here.  Do you mind if I pop off a few missiles over Syria to distract the attention of our lap dog media, and build up my commander in chief credentials with the gullible rubes who voted for me?  Yeah Uncle, that's right, and I promise not to overdo it.  I'll even send you the complete, secret list of our missile targets so you will have plenty of time to get our comrades out of harm's way before the explosions go off, mkay?  ... (slight pause)... Aww, that's just swell of you Uncle Vlad!  Oh and just one more thing Uncle - and I hate to keep bugging you about it, but you are going to keep your promise about keeping my pee-pee tape under wraps right? ... (another slight pause)... Aw gee, thanks a million Uncle - you're the best! (Trump hangs up the phone and kicks his feet confidently up on to the oval office desk).
Trump (with feet still kicked up on to the oval office desk and smiling broadly, yells out):  Kelly!!  John Kelly!!  Get your coffee boy ass in here stat and write me up a short and sweet, smugly somber "My Fellow Americans..." statement on Syria will ya?  Big Daddy Warbucks Don is a war-time President now who's gonna Make America Great Again - one bomb-cratered, abandoned airfield at a time!  And before I forget - where's Kellyanne?  Kellyanne, stop with that damn incessant texting already and get me Mikey The Fixer on the line, I got some more work lined up for him.

No - really -- that is how The Gadfly envisions the whole thing went down.

Sigh . . . . . . . .. .






----TFG



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